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What is a Budget Review?

Sometimes I don’t have time to record a video review, or take photographs for a longer form written review, but I still want to review the toy, so I’ve devised the Budget Review System where I take the promo shots of a toy I’ve purchased and then throw words between them.  In fact it’s kind of following the review tradition for comics as all you get from them, visually, are the cover and maybe some pages taken from a preview.

I’m even going to include scores on these reviews because, well, why not?  I’ll go for the vintage score out of 10, well I-X, so lot me break down what the scores will mean:

  1. Don’t even glance at this toy, there’s something intrinsically wrong with it.  It either falls apart or fails to be a toy.
  2. You can glance at this toy, but it’s probably not worth giving it a 2nd glance, or purchasing it.  Free would be the most acceptable price.
  3. Don’t pay full price for this if you really must have it.  In fact half price might not be worthwhile.
  4. It’s not bad, but definitely get it on sale.
  5. A decent enough toy, but there’s nothing particularly special about it.  If you must have it, then definitely go for it.
  6. Worth the money you paid for it, but it’s lacking in magic moments.
  7. Scratches an itch you didn’t even know you had.
  8. “Ah-whuh?” comes out of your mouth when this does something kinda special.
  9. Approaching Holy Grail status.  You will regret not buying this because it’s pretty magical.
  10. What the hell are you doing reading this? GO BUY THE DAMN TOY!
  11. Something has gone horribly wrong as scores only go up to 10.

Don’t go expecting many Xs, and remember that V is the baseline for quality.  If you’re still unsure an alternate structure goes:

  1. Godawful.
  2. Terrible.
  3. Lousy.
  4. Meh.
  5. Alright.
  6. Good.
  7. Great.
  8. Excellent.
  9. Fantastic.
  10. AMAZING.

I think that works.  In all honesty I doubt there will be many Budget Toy Reviews for anything from VIII onwards.

 

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